I'm 18 years old going on 19. My childhood from about 14 on was spent getting kicked out of schools, or if I was in school basically being in and out of in-school suspension. There was a point where I threatened my school, and specific students and it seemed that the parents of the other students were going to charge me with something. Of course I went to the school shrink I plead a victim story so instead of going to a trial I was kicked out of the school and then sent to a behavioral center. During the behavioral center I lied my way to just get out which I successfully did after a week. They claimed I had bipolar disorder, and I saw several psychologists/psychiatrist afterward but convinced my parents I didn't need it. Over the next few years I went through a lot of relationships, leaving a lot of people hurt. Stopped talking to my family and I was wondering whether something truly was wrong with me...so six months ago I admitted myself back into a behavior center. They said I had three personality disorders which are: Antisocial, narcissistic and borderline. I left shortly after knowing these, not really having any follow-up treatment and very discouraged by that. Up till that moment, I've hit my boyfriend, threatened and wanted to kill him having restraint on me. Destroyed his car, tore up his apartment, cut myself, and trying everyday to calm my anger which seems to be uncontrollable after certain points. I live in a state where there isn't much help for well, anything regarding personality disorders. My former psychologist was basically telling me that there wasn't much help for me, so I stopped seeing her. I'm at a lost...some days I don't ever want changing, and other times I realize I need as much help as I could get. I'm not sure exactly what to do
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